CONfabulation

We survived Monday! It was a very busy day at work, to the point that I mostly did calls, because the queues were absolutely insane. I ended up taking 52 calls, which explains why I was tired at the end of the day.

I love my ADHD medicine. During the day, it kicks ass. I'm very level and focused and no anxiety. But then, usally about 6:00-7pm, it wears off and I get anxious and hyper and I have trouble falling asleep. But worse than that is the return of the border collie feeling, where I feel like I should be doing something other than just laying in bed. Sometimes, the anxiety gets to the point that I want to just claw my skin off, because I feel like I'm going to fly apart. What I really need is a comedown dose of Ritalin (short acting) to get me from 6-10, but no doctor is going to give you stimulants to take before bed (even if they relax you and make you feel normal.)

Basically ADHD treatment for women sucks. I was 51 when I was finally diagnosed, and it's made a world of difference for me. Still, I feel bad for little me, who struggled so hard in school and jobs for so long. And kind of infuriated at the doctors who saw an anxious fat white girl and assumed I was just a delicate flower of mental health issues. I probably also need an Autism screening, but it was hard enough to get an ADHD screening. I just wonder, what my life would have been like if I had been medicated before now. Would I have been able to deal with school better? What would my teenage depression have been like with some Prozac and Concerta?

I mean, I'm basically happy with my life now, but it would have been nice to not have been fighting against my brain for 50yrs.

Today will hopefully be a little bit quieter at work, but we'll see! Today I think I'm going to put in a grocery order, and get some of the stuff I'll need for Thanksgiving. I'd like to test out the recipe for Pumpkin custard with crushed gingersnaps on top before then. We'll see how it goes.

And now, more prepping for the upcoming games. Everyone have an amazing Tuesday!

Y'know, I had such a nice weekend, I don't even resent that we're back to Monday.

Yesterday, we woke up early, thanks to daylight savings. (Did it again this morning, too.) So we had a little time before game. Then we had a delightful game where my cleric chose to do the stupid thing. It worked really well, for the 30 seconds before the next player in line killed him, but I like to think it was a big morale booster, and buoyed the paladin to slapping that giant pig demon really hard with his sword. He was by that point, bleeding copiously and looking diseased.

Then it was off for lunch with my friend from 911. We went to an Indian Buffet, and ate very well. The Saag paneer was especially tasty. It's always nice to catch up with friends, so that was good.

Then, we came home and relaxed until it was time for our second game of the day.

Second game of the day was also excellent. We started in a fight with some vampires, with our heavy hitter charmed by one of them. He wasn't out and out attacking us, but it was close. Our party was falsely accused of stealing the crown jewels, and had to ditch. Now we're heading towards my character's family home to see what's going on with his brother who is ill. Downside, Irsu's father is a horrible person and a Duke. Irsu ran away from home rather than get pigeon holed into being his brother's trusted mage, and has not been back. He has complicated feelings.

I also got a portrait of said character made:


I love it so much. He looks exactly as badass as I was hoping.

poisontaster and I were talking about Kpop Demon Hunters, and we agreed that the line I used for my subject line is kind of our jam. She said that you can be the most broken, weird person, but when you find that harmony with someone, it's amazing. And I pointed out that that's what D&D is for me. We find the harmony with the people we play with, their play style, their personality and you wind your style into that, and the next person looks at the whole, and so on and so on.

And when that happens, you can create beautiful stories of triumph, of found family, and heartbreak and loss. Sometimes, you create something silly and fun, sometimes, while the players are finding family, you are too. You've find that harmony, tap into that song and it's the best, most exhilarating feeling.

It's easier to find that in a campaign than a one shot, but it's still there. I'm so fucking lucky that I have a 2 good servers, of people who are way cooler than me, but still mesh with my song.

It made the pervasive fear and dread of the pandemic seem less when we played. It gave us a human connection, even as we were all locked in our homes. And game after game, we forged connections and friendships. I'm so grateful for that and that even as we've all started to go back out into the world, we still make time to get together and tell stories.

Basically, I love my friends.

And now, I shall go forth and read a little bit more of the module. Which is now 19 days away. Everyone have an outstanding Monday!

It's Friday Eve! Good lord, I was on the struggle bus yesterday. My back was hurting and the people calling me were either so dull/awkward that I couldn't really connect with them, or out and out assholes. I survived, taking 52 calls. And now I get to do it again today.

The back is still cranky. and I'm sick of it. I ended up dropping from my game last night, because I was hurting so much. Today, it's better than last night, but still painful.

I spent some time putting all our outings into the countdown app. I like being able to flip through and see all our stuff.

I ended ordering some stuff from Costco for dinners for the next few nights, so I don't have to cook. Maybe by Sunday I'll feel up to cooking.

From here on out, I'm going to be hoarding my PTO so I will be good for the cruise. If I can avoid taking PTO from here til Feb, I will be able to put my PTO in for the cruise in March. Mind you, I'll start as soon as I start accruing.

I have two half days off in December, one to take Jess to their next post op, and one for the comic con. Though I'm a little unsure of that one. Once I see the schedule, I may decide to give it back.

I have a couple more packages on the way. One is some nail polish, which was an impulse buy. The other was a watch for the cruise. I've been told that sometimes cells and computers have a hard time adapting to the changing time zones in Alaska, so I just got myself a nice analog watch.

Okay, time for me to take a gander at my games for Friday and Saturday. Everyone have an awesome Thursday!

I survived Monday! It was super busy at work, and I was very tired by the time I got off. I'm always grateful that I get off a bit before my sister so I have an hour of just Jess and I. A lot of times when I get off, I don't want to talk to people (Jess is not people, they're just part of me as far as my brain goes.) So I have quiet time/D&D talk, etc for an hour, and by the time my sister gets home, I'm a little more communicative.

We drank some of the wine last night. I had slid the bottle of Niagra into the fridge, so we pulled it out and cracked it open, and had some of the fintest sweet white wine in the land. I forgot how much I loved Mt Hope Winery, because this was fantastic.

Today, more work, and then I shall go forth to pick up Jess from their tattoo. They're getting a phoenix feather to match the raven feather on their right arm. It's their same tatoo artist, who is amazing, so I know I'm going to love it.

Then I shall come home and see if I am cooking dinner. My back has been a bit too peeved to stand at the stove. Last night we had Chinese. It was very tasty.

My ring and Jess' suit came! The suit definitely needs some altering. They couldn't quite get the pants zipped. but the suit coat looked nice. Pictures of my ring tomorrow--I'm going to try to get a picture in the morning light that shows the sparkle. I love it though, and I would 100% recommend Provence Gems for jewelry. It seems like each piece is made to order, complete with Computer Aided drafting and a real dialogue to make sure you're happy at each step. Now I'm debating on a bracelet or necklace to set off my dress.

It's a very busy weekend of games! I have four (three of which I'm DMing) games between Friday and Sunday, plus one coming up tomorrow (also not GMing). Jess actually has six games, as their game of Strixhaven is Sat night.

We were able to shift our early afternoon game an hour ahead, and will be able to sneak out and watch KPop Demon Hunters in the theater. We're going to try out a new theater (in the same location as the old theater). It's a kind of ritzy theater in a ritzy area of town. I wish I could go to the movies during the week. Tonight is Lost Boys and Thursday is Blade. I freaking love Blade. It was such a formative movie. I have not yet seen KPop Demon Hunters, but a lot of people who I know really love it. Jess swears the music is fun and earwormy. So that should be fun.

I think we need to get out of the house more, honestly. Every time we go out, we're like "this is so nice." and then we don't go out again for a few weeks. There just haven't been any movies I wanted to see or that much fun to go do. I need to look for some festivals and stuff that we could do.

November is not great for games, so we're going to have a couple of free weekends in there. Already got brunch with poisontaster in mid November, so we'll have to figure stuff out for other fun things.

Okay, time for me to go forth and get myself together. Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday!